Oh to be an Indian in the 21st century!!!

Oh to be an Indian in the 21^st century

by Shivani Tibrewala, 2007

All rights reserved by the Intellectually Challenged Property Act

Pumped by the likes of you and of me

Wading through bills and sweet eternity

You come looking for a cheque that ain't gonna bounce

And you find that your money just ain't worth an ounce

The cops are out sniffin' for criminals like you

What makes it all funny is they're killers too

Everybody's looking for somethin' no one's gonna find

Just open a beer sit back and unwind

You know that you're screwed when the shit hits the fan

And you sit and blow smoke rings and pretend you're a man

It's time to get off your fanny and make things happen for you

So you dress up like a dandy and go look for a screw

Hippies are out and success is in

To lose is to die what's right is to win

Who walks around now with peace tattooed on their arm

Violence is trendy and has its own charm

The policeman's a rapist the CM's a thug

You've women to molest and beers to slug

Who cares if they catch you and put you in jail

Even drunk drivers who kill can now get out on bail

Watch the psychos massacre the tourists with a knife

Then come home and sit watch weepy soaps with your wife

Watch artists get beaten up for expressing the truth

Go to parties and discuss the current state of the youth

While they commit suicide and are beaten up by the cops

For asking the country to close down degree shops

If you're from a scheduled caste relax get in line

The quota system'll allot you what's rightfully mine

Gandhi is out and Hitler is in

With your kind support the fundamentalists will win

Pick up a torch and burn down the trains

Plant a few bombs burn out everyone's brains

The Muslims are dogs the Hindus are swine

The Parsis are daft and the Sikhs asinine

The Christians are parasites got here on a boat

What matters is simple: who'll give you their vote

You can make a fool out of them all just promise too much

They will sit with their tongues hanging out and wag at your touch

Meanwhile build networks make communication cheap

Make your towers as high as your pockets are deep

Make buildings that fall down when the earth gives up and cracks

Fill cement with dirt fill your ears up with wax

When the tsunami wipes out all the harm you have done

Send clothes and condolences to everyone

Then leave saying you're sorry and you wish you could help

But that you're around and if they need you just yelp...

So put on your face and go out there and do it

And then when you've made it you can coolly say screw it

And then put your legs up in your beach house and dream

Roll up your trousers and wade through the stream

Read practise yoga breathe yourself back to life

With a chick who can fuck like a whore and cook like a wife.